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June 24, 2004

Comments

Monique

The autobiography is something I am not looking forward to doing. =/

I miss you! Being in GA is such a bummer... I definately will not be returning here for another 4 years, and if I do, it will be for a 3 day visit.

{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}

Mollie

It's heavy, hey? (Practicing my Canadian.)

Don't you ever think, "Good gravy, ALL parents should have to put as much thought into how they're going to handle issues that come up (discipline, food, health, etiquette, family relationships)... why do we adoptive parents have all the fun??"

I remember George and I did those auto-b's the night they were assigned. That's right, we were waaaaay motivated to get the show on the road. We stayed up until 2 a.m. and then went to bed. The next day, we handed drafts of them to each other and just sobbed. Turned out to be a bonding thing for us as a couple.

Did the SW read them? I don't actually think so. But in the end, we did what we were told, and actually learned a lot about ourselves and each other in the process, so it was all good. But maddening. You don't sound nearly as "maddened" as I was during all of that. Good for you, Honey. You're an even-keeled gal.

Carrie

Yeah, the self-studies were definitely an eye-opener for us. Though we won't have teh trans-cultural issues you have, I think it's great that you have a REAL grasp on what your future will hold with you and your daughter, not just the "norman Rockwell" portrait. Your daughter is going to be very lucky to have you as a mommy!

Short North Mama

If you ever get a chance to share your reading list, I would love to know what books you liked. We are preparing to adopt from china too, but we can't begin for another year or so (I am only 28). So I have been reading, reading, reading. The most useful/interesting books I have found so far are Inside Transracial Adoption, Does Anybody Look Like Me?, and Wild Swans (Chinese Memoir). It won't be long for you now!

jen

I think all the time that all prospective parents should have to do this. Write autobiographies and think seriously about parenting and values and discipline and all that other stuff, and have to coherently explain to someone else. We really shouldn't have all the fun to ourselves over here in adoption-land.

Michele, if you have any recommended books on China, culture, bonding, etc etc, let me know!!!

Marla

The author of "The Lost Daughters of China" explained to her daughter that she was "delievered" not abandoned. She went on to tell her that her bio parent(s) made sure she was placed in a busy spot so that people would find her. Abandoned conjures up the images of someone not caring. In contrast, delievered sends the message that her parent (s) were willing to take the risk of leaving her in a spot where so could be found (at the peril of getting caught, arrested, fined.)

I,too, recommend "Inside Transracial Adoption" as well as "Are Those Kids Yours?" I have an extensive book list on subjects such as attachment, culture, childrens, etc. If you want it, email me privately.

Lastly, I don't know if this will give you hope or not... but I'm on my way today to INS (CIS) to deliever or finialized homestudy! Yahoo! So, it does happen even though it may feel like forever.

Marla

Deliver--not deli/ever: maybe I have food on the brain!

Tracy

I am so excited that you're able to get started. I will have to live vicariously through you for a while, if that's OK. Good luck with everything.

Michele

I bought "Are Those Kids Yours" today. And I've got "Inside Transracial Adoption" on my wish list, so I'll buy that one on my next book order. I bought a couple of other books, but I can't remember the names of them right now.

I am reading "Dim Sum, Bagels and Grits A sourcebook for Multicultural Families" right now, and I'm really enjoying it. I also enjoyed "The Lost Daughters of China" and I'm still reading "Wanting a Daughter, Needing a Son."

I bet Virginia has some good suggestions, I'm going to ask her for some ideas.

virginia

oooh! that's me! OK, so the only book I found truly uselful is "Toddler Adoption; What size shoes does she wear?", and all the books by Sherry Aldrige. She's fabulous. All the other ones, I bought and never got past the first chapters.... And now that's she's here, it was all pointless reading anyways, because you know what, I can't remember anything I read when I need to, and I have no time to refer to it!

Brooklyn Mama

Congratulations on getting started and good luck with the torturous paperchase! There is a baby at the end of all this - hard to believe sometimes, but true. My favorite books while we were waiting:

The Lost Daughters of China
Are These Kids Yours?
Wuhu Diary by Emily Prager (really interesting but a little neurotic)
The Velveteen Father (about two men adopting domestically, beautifully written)

The most valuable resources though, were the apc list and other people's websites. They really helped me prepare for the trip and clued me into the whole process and outcome. But I'm sure you know that already! :)

Best wishes.

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