When a Poop Is More Than A Poop

Did anyone see T.Berry Brazelton on the Today show this morning? Dr. Brazelton was promoting his new book, Toilet Training, The Brazelton Way.

Brazleton Says that when your kid takes his first poo on the potty, you shouldn't praise him, you should instead ask him how he feels about creating that shit. Interesting. He says that if you celebrate his poops that he will think, "Damn, am I doing this poop for her or for me?" You don't want your pooper pooping for you, you want your pooper pooping for his own pleasure. Interesting, isn't it?

What I learned from Dr. Brazelton is that I have a lot of reading to do before I become a mother because the last thing I would have thought to do was ask my kid what he thinks about his poop. I think my first reaction would be to high five the kid and say, "Right on, kid. Congratulations on your aim. That is an awesome poop." That is when the game show buzzer will go off and child services will step in to confiscate my kid, and from that moment on my child will forever resent me.

"But Your Honor, I didn't know that by praising his first poop on the potty that I was setting in motion a lifelong obsession for my son to please me. What have I done? Dear God, it was just a poop! And I all did was give him a freakin' high five! "

Years later in therapy, my kid will talk about how much he hates me. How I ruined his first potty poop. How he has lived his life only to make me happy and that he is giving up his medical practice to do what makes him happy.....euthanize puppies and kitties at the pound.

And I will say to myself, "Why didn't I read Dr. Brazelton's book?"

Comments

[Mollie]

Thank GOD I read your blog; my kid is on the brink of pooping in the potty for the first time, and I would have made the SAME FATAL MISTAKE! Now I understand the procedure.

Mama: Honey, you pooped in the toilet. What do you think about that?

Kid: I tink it stinky.

Mama: Stinky. I see. Any other thoughts?

Kid: Poopy.

Mama: Stinky poopy. Yes. I agree. So, anything to add?

Kid: Can I fwush now?

Mama: Of course you can flush, Sweetheart. Are you sure you are ready to disengage from your bodily waste? Are you ready to let it go? Because it's yours, honey, all yours. If you think it's time to flush the stinky poopy, then you can flush it. But make sure you're flushing it based solely on your own needs, and not to gratify me in any way.

Kid: (Crying) Wanna go do someting ewlse! Weave me awone!

Mama: -sigh- Thank goodness for Dr. Brazelton's book. It's made all of this so much simpler!

P.S. Thanks for plugging my new endeavor! I am more than touched by your enthusiasm. Hope I don't disappoint!

P.P.S. I LOVE your new self-portrait!

[Mollie]

Also wanted to add that if that kid pictured in Dr. B's arms isn't toilet trained YET, for God's sake, then what the hell?? I mean, he must be five months old already! Looking at the cover, I would have thought this was a book about easing a kid's fears about KINDERGARTEN! Sheesh!

[Melissa]

Is it wrong if I give my boy a car if he poops in the potty?

What does Dr Brazelton say about that?

Because, is it traumatizing if he poops in the potty only for a reward?

:-)

[Armand]

Interesting. Reminds me of that bathroom scene in the "The Last Emperor" with the court magicians, etc. watching little Pu Yi. ^_^

[KJB]

HAHAHA... I knew I should've called in late to work to see that. DAMN... well, thank you for your clear recapture of the interview, I will now rush out to by the book for my friends and family before they make the fatal mistake of praising the blessed turd.

LOL.. this topic screams dinner convo to me.

[Andreah]

Was that good poopy or a bad poopy? well what kind of a poopy was it?

Stupid. I have a better way to train the kid and ive been thinking of this idea for awhile now. When I feel its time for the kid to start going potty in the potty and he poops his spider man underoos instead, I am going to rub their face in it and tell them to, "Go lay down, bad girl/boy! You are a bad, bad, baby! You go to your bed, you go lay down, you make mommy sick!"

What? It worked for my puppy, why wouldnt it work for my kid? Well, maybe I should read the book...

P.S. I'm kidding, I would never... dont get all.. social services on me! Sheesh! LOL

[aggie]

Apparently this is where I went wrong with my son. I’m sure his weight issues, lack of interest in school, frequent use of the word damn, and quite possible his need for a hearing aid, all stems from my praise of his on target potty pooping. Now that I know, maybe I can start on the road to redemption when he gets home from school today.

On the other hand, Dr. Phil has a potty training program that is one big party....is he ruining our children?

[Dawn]

Ha! We're promoting his book at work right now so one of my writers just interviewed him. I actually like Brazelton's take on child development, which is of interest to me and was before I had a kid. Advice, however. not so much. I never take mothering advice from a man; it's a policy I have. I'll read their illustrative anecdotes and their discussion of research but when it comes to actually raising the kid, I figure my instincts are pretty well set up for that.

[getupgrrl]

No! Dawn! Brazelton gets the research all wrong! Have you read his nonsensical misstatements of the mother-infant communication research, and then read Ed Tronic's stuff?

*cough*

I'll just be quiet now, and go think about how I feel about my poop.

[jc]

can't we even poop without searching for some deeper meaning?

i suppose i would be willing to try brazelton's potty training...if i wanted my child to grow up to be Woody Allen.

[susan]

hilarious! and i call my kid pooper( something of which she does not like)
i dont recall if i praised my daughters poop or not. i did it the lazy way and just let her get so old she was literally embarrassed to be still wearing a diaper. not really but almost! you do not want to get in a power poop struggle with a toddler!
andreah you are too funny!

[susan]

hilarious! and i call my kid pooper( something of which she does not like)
i dont recall if i praised my daughters poop or not. i did it the lazy way and just let her get so old she was literally embarrassed to be still wearing a diaper. not really but almost! you do not want to get in a power poop struggle with a toddler!
andreah you are too funny!