Shelba

Self Portrait Tuesday- Personal History

This is Z and me in China on what I think was our third day together.  This right after the first bath I had ever given her.  I waited a couple of days because she had already been through so much that I didn't want to freak her out by putting her in the bathtub.  However, as soon as I started to draw the bath she started to giggle.  Turns out she loves the bathtub!  It was so much fun, but kind of scary because I had never bathed a child before.  It is now 8 months and countless baths later and I'm now a pro at giving baths to a wiggly toddler. 

Ooops

Well, darn, it is still January.  I thought it was February so I shot some pretty sick self portraits of myself, but I can't post them until next week.  Back to the drawing board.  Personal history I hate you. 

Self Portrait Tuesday

Oh my god, I just took the photographs for today's Self Portrait Tuesday and they are quite depressing.  Part of me says, "Do it, post it.  Who the hell cares."  And the vain part of me is saying, "Gag, don't you dare." 

I'm thinking about it. 

Want a book?

The following books are a few years old, so I'm sure newer editions are out there, but I don't know, maybe someone wants these.  So if you are interested in any of these books, I will happily send them your way.  Drop me a line and let me know. 

Is Adoption For You?

Adopting in Russia

Adopting in America

The Complete Idiot's Gude to Adoptin

The International Adoption Handbook

The Russian Word for Snow

In case it isn't obvious, these books were purchased back when we first started thinking about adoption.  I went nuts and bought every adoption book our local Barnes and Noble had on their shelves.  Which leaves me with a lot of books that I don't need. 

Quilts

My friend and I were going to take our girls to a Chinese New Year celebration today, but it was raining so hard that we canceled.  The rain has quit, but my friend has another celebration to attend today, so I'm contemplating going on our own.  Not sure if we will or not.   

After finishing my last quilt, a little doll quilt for a special little girl, I started on another quilt, but then my sewing maching died.  So then I bought another one, but it is computerized and I need to read the manual and I've been to lazy to read the manual.  Which sucks because I really want to start back on this quilt.  Maybe tonight. 

Here is the doll quilt.  It is the first quilt that I finished all on my own.  I had a lot of fun making this lil'baby.

Self Portrait Tuesday - Personal History

This is the scar from my heart surgery.  Before my surgery I hated the idea of having this scar, but now that i have it it doesn't bother me.  At the top of the scar, you can feel the wire that they used to hold my sternum together....now that gives me the creeps. 

This March will mark the two year anniversary since the scar and I got together.  There is definitely some personal history attached to this scar o'mine.  Two years ago a doctor made an incision and cracked my chest.  My heart was stopped for I don't know how long so that he could remove my leaky valve and then replace it with a lovely mechanical beauty.

Before the surgery, I had to choose between a tissue valve and a mechanical valve.  The tissue would mean having a second surgery during the next 10 years.  The mechanical valve meant no more surgeries and one valve for life.  I agonized over the valve choice.  And I mean agonized.  It was all I thought about for a couple of months.  Thankfully, I knew that I had made the right choice within 5 minutes of waking up from the valve replacement, because I thought, "I never want to do this again." 

I have no regrets about my scar or about my mechanical valve.  No regrets.  To quote Martha Stewart, "It's a good thing." 

Cramming It

I'm cramming Mandarin like crazy tonight.  Practing tones.  Dang, it is not easy.  I have my second class tomorrow night and I'm the worst in the class.  I'm so bad that I can't even get the sounds out of my mouth.  I just sit there with my mouth open, gasping and stammering.  I should have studied more this last week. 

I wonder if anyone that I know in real life reads this blog.  I wouldn't doubt it because it would be very easy to find through my email address, etc.  Sometimes I think that I should out this blog to some real-life people, but I can't bring myself to do it.  I should go back through my archives to make sure that I'm safe from hurting anyone, but I hate the thought of reading my old posts.  Hmm. 

Self Portrait Tuesday - Personal History #3

This was taken moments after Z was placed in my arms.  I'm certain that my friend, M, had said something to me and I was reacting to whatever it was that she said combined with having just been handed Z. 

Ray wanted to post this on our travel blog, but I wouldn't let him.  He argued that it conveyed the excitement of the moment and I argued that it was horribly unflattering.  I won.  We never posted it.  But I'm posting it now, because I agree with him, this picture definitely captures the moment.  I was out of my mind with happiness and excitement.  When I see this photograph it brings me back to that moment, the moment of hearing her name called and reaching out for her.  The sight of her wee scared face and the sound of our guide telling Z that I was her mama.  Yep, it brings it all back. 

Not sure how long I'll keep this photograph up, but here it is for now. 

   

Happy Birthday, Hannah!

Hannah turns one today!  I hope that Julia doesn't mind me posting this pic, but here is a picture of Hannah that I took many months ago.  I can't remember how old she was here, but I know that she was still tiny.  I remember Julia letting me hold her daughter and that I was really nervous of doing not doing it right. 

Julia and I have not had a chance to get together since Zoe came home, but hopefully in the near future we'll have a chance to introduce our girls. 

Self Portrait Tuesday might happen here today and it might not.  It depends on me being able to get on Ray's computer and finding the picture I'm thinking of. 

Manic Monday

Took Z to our F*CC playgroup today.  We painted tiles at this cute ceramic place.  Z was in to it for maybe 5 minutes, but she did paint a tile and part of mine.   

Last night my laptop fell.  Lola tripped on the cord and the laptop fell on its side, smooshing the power cord far into the damn thing.  It is not good.  Ray had to do some MaGyver move so we could backup all of the pictures I've taken and now we have to see if my laptop can be repaired.  This laptop is practically brand new.  I spilled Coke on my last one.  Gah.

I start Mandarin lessons tonight!

I have a wicked headache.

I realized that we have less than 5 months til we can be dtc, which caused me to freak out a bit because I've slowed down in the paperchasing.  My biggest concern is the same concern of anyone paperchasing, the BCIS stuff.  Our physicals are not for 2 weeks, and we can't do our homestudy until we have our physicals.  And I want to send in our BCIS stuff, but I don't want to do it until the week that we do our homestudy.  So I'm thinking that I'll see if we can do our homestudy the Friday after the Monday that we do our physicals.  I think it took less than 3 months for the BCIS stuff last time, but I can't remember for sure.  Ray thinks I'm being freaky about all of this, but getting our dossier in a week later can mean a month longer to referral and considering that we're probably looking at a 12 month wait.....

Okay, time to go.  Must look up some paperchasing stuff.