No. 838 The Fortunate Hammer

The Fortunate Hammer. 

She is pretty.  She is blonde. She is The Fortunate Hammer. 

She is No. 838 and she has huge blue eyes that close when she reclines. 

Oh, Fortunate Hammer, where have you been all my life?  The answer:  at a dollar store in southern Mississippi. 

So what does one do with The Fortunate Hammer?  Well, you want to be hit with The Fortunate Hammer because it is brings you luck and makes good things happen.  For example, this month, Mary-Mia was hit twice with The Fortunate Hammer.  Last month, Karen was smacked upside the head with The Fortunate Hammer.  Jen Ex is soon due to get whooped on by The Fortunate Hammer.  And next month, The Pomegranate Duo, Elsie Elsewhere will be bludgeoned by The Fortunate Hammer. 

You WANT to be beaten with The Fortunate Hammer.  As Martha Stewart says, "It is a good thing." 

The lovely Zorba will demonstrate. 

I'm smitten with The Fortunate Hammer.  I think that The Fortunate Hammer will be a regular here at The Bionic Valentine.  Perhaps she needs to make monthly appearances just so she can pummel all those that are expecting referrals. 

If you have a  request for The Fortunate Hammer, feel free to submit it.  She will gladly beat the crap out you. 

Comments

[Lisa~~]

Please, hit me...hurry!!

[Sparky]

Can I get a whack?

[Julia]

That's simultaneously scary and hilarious! Zorba looks so big all the sudden! Gah!

[Julia]

Oh, and I think I'll stay away from the Hammer for a while longer. Thanks for the offer, though.

[Sister Carrie]

Wow. That is awesome. Even better than the Benign Girl cell phone. You'd better stock up now for Secret Santa gifts. What else do they have in that dollar store?

[Johnny]

Now that, is funny.

[Jessi]

Does it hurt?

[Jo]

WAH! Don't hit me with that thing...keep away...it's SERIOUSLY freaky!!!! Wait...if it's bringing referrals, just give me a minute to gather myself and close my eyes.

Okay..now!

[Steffi]

If it hurts? Naaa, I couldn't care less! Come on, I'm SO ready for a nice big whack...

[SBird]

Doesn't it make you wonder about who comes up with this stuff? Or, at least, what they were smoking?

[Simone]

Very Creepy Shelba!
...hit me anyway....I need all the help I can get.

[Michelle]

I would love a whack with it, even though it creeps me out just a little bit. :)

[Brooklyn Mama]

I LOVE the Fortunate Hammer!!!!

[Tracie]

That has got to be the funniest thing I have ever seen. And it is big!

[tshapedgirl]

Will the fortunate hammer help me lose weight and whiten my teeth? Make my hair shinier? Cuz I'll take a smack.

I love number 838!

[Sacha]

The dollar store could just be renamed - When terrible things happen at the _____ factory. In this case, the doll factory. It never ceases to amaze me - the odd assortment of mundane and bizarre that is the Dollar Store.

[Amy/grrlTravels]

Oh man do I love the Fortunate Hammer! I was thinking you found it at some cool vintage store or flea market. Nope. Just the dollah store. I must get myself to a $ store posthaste if there are things like that there.

Oh, and I take a whack if you think you can knock me silly for about 5 days with it.

Sooooo funny!

[Amy/grrlTravels]

And Zorba does look BIG!

[Figlet]

Please tell me you bought more than one. I need one today.

[The Aitch]

That's creepy. But anyway, where can I find those jammies that Lady Z has on?

[Al]

I'd pay Zorba at least five dollars for a smack with that hammer. Nobody needs it more than me.

[c]

Um, yes. Me please.

[WendyN]

Verrrrry scary...but I could use a good whack!

[CBReedER]

Hit Me! Hit Me!

Carol R.